Recently I was reading a list of "rules" published on a website. These rules were submitted by a sub and allegedly implemented by his Mistress or, as he says, by his GODDESS. Going through these rules, I could not keep from smiling. A good part of the rules deal with where, when and how to wear panties. Then followed a few rules about shaving, toe nail polish and serving meals. I do not wish to offend the sub who contributed these rules, and I am sure he did his best from his point of view. I just have my doubts if these rules were really written by a woman. There seems to be so much wishful thinking in them, and I suspect the author to be the sub himself. This is alright and I don't blame him, all I want to say is that to my mind, rules should be on a different level if issued by and for a Domme.
There is no doubt that rules are an important means to clarify the relation and positions between a Mistress and her sub in D/s. And these rules may be entirely different from such for BDSM activities. I may come back to this topic in a later article. But as this one deals with rules in a D/s relation, I will concentrate on those and leave aside the potential ones for BDSM. I believe that rules should just be focusing on important issues. To me, it does not make much sense creating a rule for my sub on something I can simply tell him. To be honest, red tape is the last thing I would want in a D/s relation.
My own D/s relation has been lasting for twelve years now, and I agree that during this time, quite a few rules came together whereby most of them developed more or less automatically as time went by and experience grew. I may be publishing my rules one day; however, they are not written in English and need to be translated first. So all I can do now is refer to some of the more important ones, to show what I think should be ruled in written, with the goal to make him aware of the position he takes and the rights I have.
My basic rule is: "A sub has no desire other than obeying and serving his Mistress". I know this is not correctly put, and I may have to rewrite it one day. Of course, I can't rule his desires, but what it means is that he should not be allowed to make me aware of his desires. Any such communication is very likely to be the first step towards a "top from the bottom" situation, and that should definitely be avoided to keep the relation clean.
Another one, as a logic addition to the above, is: "When obeying an order, the sub is not entitled to show any signs of joy, aversion, disgust or the like, neither in words nor in facial expression or gestures". I believe this rule is very important to keep the Domme's own self-confidence untouched. The Domme is a human being, and so is her slave. The longer a D/s relation lasts, the better the two get to know each other, and believe me or not, it isn't easy to keep D/s on a high level over a longer period of time unless there are such rules to be strictly followed.
Let me add a third one, completing the above two. It says: "Any order received has to be executed without the least sign of hesitation". This rule needs no comment, virtually it is an addendum to the second one, but again it is necessary in order to keep the D/s relation on a level where it belongs to.
It is interesting to discuss these rules with subs online. Try it and you will be astonished how easy it is to separate the chaff from the wheat. While some of the subs reject such rules and claim they would make them a real slave (what else?), others are enthusiastic and say that's exactly what they are looking for.
Here are 10 rules I have found helpful in training my submissive. He was required to memorize them and then required to live by them.
RULES FOR SUBMISSIVE MALES
01. Promises complete obedience to his Mistress.
02. Honours and reveres his Mistress at all times.
03. Works joyfully at every task given him by his Mistress.
04. Accepts as deserved any humiliation or punishment, his Mistress judges necessary.
05. Dresses in accordance to his instructions from his Mistress.
06. Treats with reverence all property belonging to his Mistress.
07. Accepts the fact he is the property of his Mistress.
08. It is a privilege to be allowed to serve his Mistress.
09. Accepts the fact he has no right to withdraw for Her service but She has the right to dismiss him from Her service.
10. his sexual powers are entirely under Her control and never to be used for his own gratification.
© Lady Thekla
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